Have you had the experience of setting goals and resolutions that never happen? It’s pretty common and it can be so discouraging. Each time you try and don’t succeed, will leave you less equipped to begin again, with the belief in yourself to make it happen. We all know what it’s like to start out with a good intention. We hit the first few obstacles along the way, and it can feel like it all just goes out the window. This simply means your intention hasn’t been given wings needed to progress into a real vision. This constant cycle can deflate your determination and shatter your resolve and confidence in the process.
Imagine a plane trying to take off on a runway full of obstacles – it would be insane, and sure to end in disaster. This is exactly what you do with your goals when you are just vaguely wanting to achieve something. CLEAR THE RUNWAY FIRST! These obstacles are the layers of limiting doubts and beliefs you picked up along the way through life, and they don’t give your vision a chance to fly.
What stands in the way of YOUR goal?
At this first, PICK SOMETHING THAT FEELS GOOD FOR YOU. Something that is a bit of a stretch that you would like to achieve, and haven’t yet been able to. Getting the grades you were hoping for, the girl/boyfriend you have had your eye on, the job to save for your first car, giving up a habit you have been struggling with, training for a competition you have been reaching for…. WHATEVER IT IS JUST PICK SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU WANT WITH CERTAINTY.
The very first step is to write it down clearly! Ask if you can paint a wall in your room in blackboard paint and write it up where you can see it, buy window writers and write on your mirror. Writing your goal makes you 97% more likely to achieve it! So you got that… WRITE IT DOWN! (Let’s do this exercise together. In the book I will have some cool forms for you to do this, but for now grab a pen and paper!)
NOW to discover what your stumbling blocks are… In your mind picture the goal your working on and imagine you take just one step towards that goal. What do you feel/hear/believe? Listen, explore and discover what stands in your way. Now as you take another step towards your goal, what do you hear? How does it feel? Keep imagining yourself living your goal, and at each step see how you feel about it. DO YOU GET NERVOUS, DOUBT YOURSELF, OR GET STRESSED AND ANXIOUS, DO YOU THINK YOU WILL NOT BE GOOD ENOUGH? Write down all those believes, doubts, worries etc. Do a massive brain DUMP of all of the obstacles your mind has built for you. This is called creating space in the mind. These beliefs, doubts and worries are the obstacles that have been stopping you. This is why you haven’t yet achieved it, because your mind has made it too hard, and never let it fly past the good intention you began with. Your mind does this to keep you safe, help you avoid possible failure or hurt. What it doesn’t realise is that by stopping you achieving these things it’s guaranteed failure and hurt. SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!
Learn the art of Gratitude; it’s a happy maker!
This is where the magic happens. It’s from a grateful heart that all good things come. Let yourself experience that. Take some time to be grateful for everything. Try and find 5 things (good and bad), experiences, people, lessons, anything that you are really grateful for in your life. Write them down, almost like a thank you letter to life. Take time to really appreciate what you have, and where you are.
- I am grateful for… (x5)
Discover what you value, what makes you happy!
We are all so different, and we value different things. So it’s perfectly understandable that what will make one person feel fulfilled and happy maybe very different from another. THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF DIFFERENT VALUES that exist just in our culture alone, and WE CAN ONLY REALLY HOLD ABOUT 5 OF THESE IN OUR ATTENTION AT ANY ONE TIME. So rather than set goals and visions around what you think you ‘should do’ or ‘be like’, discover a little of your own personal road map to enjoyment. Make a list of 5 things that are most important to you. It maybe your fitness, family, independence, achieving success, relaxation and quiet, friends and fun. Without judging them, just write your top 5 values down. Then next to each one, write 3 ways you experience these values. Like this:
- Freedom = horse riding, working for myself, dancing. (x5)
Value #1 : Way of experiencing it:
Now that you have cleared what is in the way, and you know what is important to you, you can actually start setting your goals. THEY WILL ALWAYS FEEL GOOD, and on track, and be totally achievable now. Now you can really see them take flight because you have done all the ground-work, cleared the run way… and you are READY!
Like you did earlier in the blog, pick 4 more things that you would like to work on as goals. At the beginning it doesn’t matter what they are, as long as they feel related to your values, they will feel good to you. So set 4 goals, and fill them in here, it’s a great start to seeing them realised! So WRITE IT DOWN!
Goal #1 :
Goal #2 :
Goal #3 :
Goal #4 :
Once you have a good picture of what your goals are, have some fun with it. I love creating vision boards. Go pick a bunch of pictures that reflect your goals, make a poster out of them, and write things on it that inspire you, and stick it up where you can see it each day.
This process keeps you in an ongoing focus to work towards them, and to trust life to rush towards you and do the rest. Magic will happen – now you can just enjoy it. Here’s to the magic making!!
And HAPPY NEW YEAR!