“I will NEVER get over this….” Is that true?
What does it mean to be going through one of life’s unresolvable experiences… a divorce, loss, deep betrayal, health crisis, whatever it is for you, it means you have found a DOOSEY. Life will throw at us a series of experiences, trials, and challenges to test our resolve, help us learn what we need to learn, and clear our karmic debts. Every now and then we will come across one of these ‘Doosies’. A big one that feels like we will never get past it, that the sun will never quite shine the same, life is forever changed.
All this really means is that you have met a GAME CHANGER. This is one of the most horrible and terrible gifts you have been given so far… welcome to the big leagues. With all the resources you have gained to date you do not currently have what it takes to make it through this – and it can feel like a death.
Now here’s the secret; life will now give you EVERYTHING you need to make it through, and even come out on top. So get ready, notice the teacher in this experience, and be GREEDY, milk it for every lesson you can get, REALLY get it. Once you have really received what it’s there to teach you it simply finishes. Sometimes it’s gently in waves over years, and others just like an explosion all at once. It isn’t in your control how this will behave or teach you, that is just the roller coaster of life. You didn’t ask for this, and you won’t notice when it’s all done so just surrender to it. Save your energy for taking all you need to learn and transforming into the person you are now becoming. What you will notice is that out the ‘other side’ of this, a new version of you emerges, full of new strength, courage, wisdom and the gift of perspective. It won’t kill you, but it really will transform you – if you allow it to. This is the Game Changer….
How do I? Finish with the Game Changers…
- Accept this will take whatever time it needs to, surrender to the gifts of this great and terrible time.
- Trust life, yourself and whatever is happening that somehow it’s happening in answer to a prayer you have, it’s happening for your best you to emerge from the ashes of this experience.
- Be willing to say yes to it – open your hands on the experience and let it be your teacher. Change your relationship from fighting with it, wishing it was different, to simply saying yes, this is here, I’m going to take what it’s here to teach me. This is possible no matter how dark, devastating, and twisted the lesson has come crashing into you. Some change requires us to walk into the darkest places.
- Feel everything you are feeling, all the way to the end, don’t tell a story about it, don’t push it away, simply sit in the river of feelings and let them all come and all go, without touching any of them, or making any of them mean anything.
- Take every opportunity to speak in honest openness sharing your feelings, resist the need to talk about the story, just share how it all makes you feel. Talk out loud to the people involved, as if they are there, and say EVERYTHING. Even if you can only do this while you are alone walking the beach, still get all your words, feeling, tears and foot-stamping out of your body.
- When you are ready it’s time to forgive. You are not forgiving for the other person’s benefit, you are doing it for you. It doesn’t change what is happening or the past, but it does shift your perception internally. This allows you to take that big stonking rock out of your emotional back-pack and put it down. It will come time to lay it to rest, all of the pain, resentment, hurt and grief will slowly leave in time once that decision to forgive has been made. Forgiveness doesn’t make the action or behaviour ok, it doesn’t mean you even want the person in your life again, it might, but it doesn’t mean that. It means that you understand they were doing the best they could, with who they are, and that it’s time to forgive them, and LET IT GO. So ask yourself, can you forgive them? Can you really let go? If you can’t yet, it simply means you have more ‘emptying out’ to do, more truth speaking to them in person, or out loud on your own somewhere pretending you are speaking with them, it’s the same result. When it’s all been said forgiveness will be the natural place you arrive in your own time. So cry your tears, feel the rage, hate the hate, and then when it’s all said and done… FORGIVE.
- Learn the life lesson, what it’s here to teach you – and listen. Really get the many lessons this was showing you. It will show you what you are, and what you are not, you will handle things you thought would kill you, you will get up and dust yourself off when you thought you would crumble, you will find a fight in you that you didn’t know was there.
- As you rise share ONLY what you learned, let the experience truly FINISH, don’t keep resurrecting it in stories, but share your incredible lessons, and let these grow and deepen and let others learn from what you have found.
- Finish the games, the patterns you have cycled around in. Let these change – you have EVOLVED and this will translate into your life. Allow it all, every bit of it to be used. If you discovered you have a game of being too attached and identified through a relationship that you lost, next time learn to stay centred in who you are even while you fall in love. Whatever it has shown you about life let it change your patterns.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY TRUST. You may not see the whole picture along the way, so simply TRUST.
Whether you know it or not YOU ARE UNLIMITED… YOU ARE ALL POTENTIAL… Life is and will continue to help you discover this again and again, that’s the agreement it made with us. So it will take your relationships that you cling to, it will take what you think you are, and throw it up against the pricks of life that will pop all this, it will make us lose the things and people that we have started to mistake for ‘me’ and strip you bare at times. These are very sacred times, these game changers. In the bare moments, with nothing but the ashes of who we are around us, we glimpse our infinite potential, and we rise… FOREVER TRANSFORMED by what we discover … more light available, more of what we really are than has ever been. So when this visitor arrives at your door, greet it on your knees with gratitude for the sacred time you enter as you allow your greatest teacher in.
Let the Game Changer be the Game FINISHER you have prayed for…
Cannot believe the timing and the title of this piece. Am very much looking forward to putting it into practice. Thank you for e-mailing me yesterday. Full of grace (getting there !!) Meg